Insane
by a-light-of-hope
Summary: But they voices never left. He knows they never will. He can't be helped. He'll kill himself with his insanity one day, he knows it. Something sharp stabbed into his arm. Blackness. The screams stopped. The clawing stopped. The young boy had been sedated. He'd wake up in a few hours, normal and okay. But he was insane. Phan. Warning: blood, mental hospitals, you get it.
1. Chapter 1

The restraints around his wrists dug in deeper. He struggled. He wasn't insane. He never was. He groaned, trying to yank his hands out of the metal restraints. The metal scratched his skin, opening the flesh and bleeding the already blood stained cuffs._ Insane. Crazy. Mental._ He wasn't insane.

_You're in denial._

The voices are back...

_You're mental...insane...crazy. You belong in here._

**You're wrong.**

_You deserve to die...you're worthless-_

**Stop.**

_Pathetic-_

**Stop!**

_Useless-_

"Go away!" The boy yelled. He struggled harder, the blood only increasing. He didn't feel it. He never did. He shouldn't be used to it. He squeezed his hand out of the left restraint, reaching up and clawing at his head, his face, his neck. Blood streaming out of the wounds the nails caused. The blood was streaming out, he was screaming, he was probably waking the whole mental institution. _Every_ night this would happen. His left hand would get free, and he'd claw his face and neck, trying to get rid of the voices.

But they voices never left. He knows they_ never_ will. He can't be helped. He'll kill himself with his insanity one day, he knows it. He screamed louder, his nails digging into previous cuts and scratches, tearing them open. He didn't notice the many doctors rushing in, trying to calm him down.

If his parents didn't die, the young 14 year old would not be here. He would not be scratching and harming himself because of these voices. Two years had past and the yound boy was still in the mad house. Hearing those voices.

Something sharp stabbed into his arm. Blackness. The screams stopped. The clawing stopped. The young boy had been sedated. He'd wake up in a few hours, normal and okay.

**But he was insane.**

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**review maybe?**


	2. Chapter 2

**~Five years later~**

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Dan sat in his usual corner by the window in the game room, that same expressionless look on his face. His eyes were glassy and unblinking, he was off in his own little world again. He was at peace. Daydreaming to get free from this institution was all he did. But of course, he never got out. And he doubts he ever will. And then his peace was broken when a loud beeping noise rang throughout the room, signalling a new patient had arrived. Dan was slightly irked at the fact his peaceful morning was disturbed, but was still curious about the new patient as much as everyone else was.

Two nurses and a guard walked in. The male nurse walked straight over to Dan, crouching down in front of him. His boyish smile made the scared feeling in Dans gut go away. He recognised this nurse as Nurse Owens. The red and blacked haired man smiled at Dan, and tucked his pen behind his ear.

"Hey Dan, how you doing?" He asked quietly, careful not to distract the other patients from what the female nurse was saying.

"F-fine.." Dan stuttered. Nurse Owens smiled. He knew this patient was definantely not fine. But that was the only answer he'd ever get from the boy.

"The new patient, he's gonna be your room mate for now..." Nurse Owens said softly, trying to make sure that Dan didn't freak out and have a panic attack. Dan stayed silent before finally opening his mouth and saying quietly,

"He wont be like the others will he?" He whispered, his eyes beginning to water. Nurse Owens quickly shook his head. Dan calmed down and turned his head to listen to what the female Nurse was saying,

"-make him feel welcome." Was all he heard. He missed the boys name.

"Wha-what's his name?" He asked, trying to stop shaking as he saw the female Nurse leading the boy over to Dan.

"Philip Lester. Myself and Nurse Fletcher thought it'd be best for you to meet now, so you wouldn't have a panic attack when you saw him in your...room," Nurse Owens avoided saying cell, "please be careful, he's a nice boy." Dan calmed down, and nodded. The boy and Nurse Fletcher stopped beside them, and the curly haired lady spoke,

"Dan this is Philip, Philip this is Dan, you guys will be room mates." She explained. The black haired boy, who was still looking at his feet, just nodded and said nothing. "Dan please be nice and make him feel welcome." The brunette just nodded.

As the two Nurses left, the black haired boy awkwardly shifted on his feet before looking at Dan. He looked scared. Dan swallowed and said, "you can sit you know..." Philip just looked back to his feet and then sat down, a two or three feet away from Dan.

"I-I'm Daniel...Daniel Howell," Dan said awkwardly, "but call me Dan."

"Philip Lester," the boy said quietly, but Dan still heard his british accent, "call me Phil." He finally looked up. His eyes were a icy pale blue, and his skin was pale. Dan felt curious to know more about the boy, he wanted to know every single detail. His eyes were sad, and obviously held a story that Dan wanted to know all about.

Dan smiled awkwardly, the pale boy felt a smile on his face, but it went as quickly as it came.

But as much as Dan wanted to know about the boy, he'd have to wait until they could trust each other.

"Um, where are you from?" He tried to start a conversation.

"Manchester," Phil said, "where are you from?"

"I was born in Berkshire, but I moved to Manchester when I was four." He explained, trying to make the conversation continue. He failed.

A silence fell over the two of them. Dan shifted awkwardly, trying to look anywhere but the gorgeous blue eyes staring at him.

"You remind me of a boy I used to be friends with when I was five," Phil suddenly blurted out. He slapped his hands over his mouth, his face reddening and he looked down at his legs immediately. Dan cleared his throat,

"What was he like?" He asked, trying to make the boy feel less awkward. He was doing a very terrible job at it though and he knew it.

"He...he smiled a lot and he was a happy kid, he was always happy. We were friends up until he was twelve. He got taken away..." Phil explained, fiddling with his hands. Dan just nodded and looked at his own hands. His nails still had blood under them from last night, and he quickly clenched his fist before Phil could see them.

"What was his name?" Dan asked, still not looking up. He became more anxious than he already was for no reason and began tugging his sleeves down even further so his hands couldn't be seen.

"I don't remember." Phil said softly, almost as a whisper. Dan looked up, seeing the boys eyes starting to well up with tears. _Oh shit, I've made it worse_. He thought.

"Uh- um, did-did you want a tea or something?" He asked, trying to distract the boy from crying. The blue eyed boy looked at him and nodded slowly. Dan stood up, he knees feeling wobbly. Phil stood up too and followed the other boy into the kitchen area, were patients were allowed to make tea's or coffee's. They took all crockery out apart from cardboard coffee cups and metal spoons.

"Two sugars...please." Phil mumbled, watching as Dan put on the kettle. The two boys waited in an uncomfortable silence for the kettle to stop. As the little click sound was heard, Dan began making two tea's. One for himself and the black haired boy. As he turned around to give the boy his tea, he realised his sleeves had rolled up and Phil was staring at the red scars all up his forearm. He awkwardly coughed, making Phil snap back to reality and take his cup.

"Thank you," Phil said before he took a mouthful. I just nodded as I pulled down my sleeves. Stupid cuts.

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**I hope that anyone who was interested in this still likes it. Thank you,**


	3. Chapter 3

It felt like Freddy Crueger was clawing at my body with his razor fingers. I could feel the spiders, crickets and many other insects crawling in and out of my bleeding mouth. It felt like all the blood inside my body was coming out of my eyes, my ears, my mouth and nose. I was cold. Extremely cold. I was shaking too. Whether it was the bleeding, my fear of insects, the pain on every single part of my body, or the fear of not telling my mum I love her before I died. I was scared.

"Phil! Phil wake up!" I heard a female voice yell. I could hear a scream. It was a very loud scream, and who ever it came from, it was making me bleeding even more. "It's gonna be okay! Stop screaming!" Her voice cooed in a motherly tone. Another scream. Then I realised I was the one screaming. I immediately shut up. The females voice was soft, gentle and motherly.

Just like my mum.

"Philip, open your eyes, it's only a dream, wake up." The female said. I was still shaking, and bleeding, with insects crawling in and out of my mouth. But I opened my eyes anyways. Instead of seeing a fuckload of bugs on me, there was a blonde woman with wild, curly hair, and blue eyes. _Nurse Fletcher_. She smiled at me. I didn't smile back though, I looked to the other person standing above me. Brown hair and brown eyes, tanned skin. _Daniel_.

"They're coming for me," I say, closing my eyes again, "they're looking for me." Even I didn't know who I was talking about, sometimes I'd say random things, that I didn't even think of saying. I, of course, was used to it by now.

"Who's coming for you Phil?" This time it was Dan. I opened my eyes, and looked at him. He looked worried, concerned. Why? He wasn't a nurse. He shouldn't care. But the boys eyes soothed me, almost as if healing me mentally. I shook my head,

"I don't know." I whispered.

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**Hey! I hope you liked it, also, leave a review telling me what you thought.**

**I'm obsessed Beethoven, Haydn and Mozart right now. It's unhealthy. You should listen to them, they're amazing. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Been a while, eh? (lol Candian I'm kidding dont kill me you lovely people) AAAANYWAYS. My latptop died again .-. so srs. and theres been a lot of things going on with me right now. GOOD NEWS, I'm trying to update once a week on each story. Hopefully. MORE GOOD NEWS, I'm gonna be in New Zealand in 13 days! Yayayay!**

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**Phil.**

"This is where the crazy people go," he says, his voice sad as he stared out the barred window, "Phil, are we crazy?" He looks at me, his eyes wide in fear. I've only been here 2 weeks and I've never seen Daniel like this, and I knew it was rare. I sat in my bed, fiddling with a loose piece of string. Were we crazy? No, they just think we are.

"No, we aren't," I look up, seeing him staring out the window again. He is unconciously twitching his fingers and humming a quiet tune. He does that a lot. I've taken notice to a lot of things he does. He tenses up sometimes and zones out in the middle of a conversation,  
He never wears short sleeves,  
He always expresses his feelings to me at midnight, and forgets he has in the mornings,  
His hands sometimes twitch as if playing an invisible piano,  
He picks apart the styrofoam cups, And he breaks the plastic knives at night times.

Dan crawls back into his own bed, and looks over to me again.

"Phil can you do up my cuffs? The-the nurse isn't h-here s-so I can't d-do it-t." He stutters. He also stutters when he thinks he's asked for too much. I nodded and walked over to his bed side, holding his wrist down in the cuff. It was the first time I had done this for him, and the blood all over the cuffs kind of scared me. He still hasn't told me why he's up in here. He still hasn't told me about the scars on his face. He still hasn't told me anything about his life.

I did the straps on the tightest they could go. We said our goodnights and I'm soon back in my bed, falling asleep.

The morning that followed wasn't any better than the last. We'd get up every morning and do the same thing. Over and over again. I rolled over and looked at Dan, seeing him with his hands strapped down even tighter. I guess that he hadn't woken up during Dans screaming fit last night. Dan was lying there, unable to move as his ankles and wrists were strapped down.

"Want help?" I asked quietly, sitting up in my bed. He nodded and I walked over, helping him undo the straps. His sleeve slipped. I saw even more scars. Some accidental, some from his scratching during the night, and some on purpose. I pretended to have not seen it and I walked away, heading for the showers.

**Third Person**

Dan sat besides the open window again, his hair still slightly damp from the shower he recently had. Phil sat near him, but there was no talking. Phil was speaking to another boy, who seemed to have the mind of a 7 year old. Dan wondered why he was in here if he acted and thought he was seven years old. Dan looked at them, seeing Phil playing a game with him.

_How can he be so comfortable here?_ Dan thought, watching as Phil pretended to get sot by an invisble gun the other kid was holding. _How can he be so nice to people? How can he be so nice to me_?

"Daniel? It's time for your check up," Nurse Owens called. All patients turned to stare at Dan. He immediately felt small, and sick. He was scared. He tried to push himself further into the corner away from their eyes, but it only made his spine hurt. Even Phil was staring. He didn't like this. His eyes began to water and he started to whimper. He looked to the door of the instution.

The two men in black walked over to Dan, their metal face guards and body armour clinking as they marched. Dan knew exactly who they were and he knew exactly what they were going to do. And he didn't like it one bit. The men seemed to not have noticed Dan's fear, and yanked him up by the arms. He went to scream, but Nurse Owens and Nurse Fletcher were replacing the two men, softly holding his arms, and guiding him out the door. He felt relieved. And he looked at his feet and then heard the door slam behind him, causing him to jump.

"Dan, stay calm okay? Remember what I told you?" Nurse Fletcher says as they guide him into the room. He nods, and looks at his feet again. They stop at the door, and the female nurse seems to feel sick as she saw the chair they put Dan in every month. But nurses weren't allowed in there. The two nurses stopped at the door, watching as the two men in black shut the door behind them. A few seconds later Dan began screaming.

Nurse Fletcher and Nurse Owens both turned away.

"I do hate to see that boy treated like that," Nurse Owens says. He had grown to care for the boy like a father. Nurse Fletcher nodded in agreement.

"I wonder what they do to him in there," she says, a lump clogging up her throat as she heard the screams get worse and some yelling by the men in black. She wasn't going to cry. She shouldn't be too attached too him. But her kind heart melted and she had grown attached to most of the patients here. She wished she hadn't though.


End file.
